The Clear Deep

Songwriting....

2009-10-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

About to post .....

Neighbor Aid Day AUG 15

2009-07-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday BABY

2009-07-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

My sweetheart Faith turns 10 today! We already celebrated when she was here with Kelsey and Lons birthdays... She got her DSi and some nice things.. Chris' family actually celebrated her yesterday and she had a great time... She is really becoming a young lady and expressing her defining qualities. I absolutely love my girl...

Where I am on posting...

2009-06-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

I am halfway done with our move... Lon's house is done and about to get cleaned. My house has about three quarters more to go over the next week and a half. After that, I intend on posting more here. I am going to post more song lyrics as I am developing. I have written two new ones in the last week and been developing a few others that we have begun the recording process on. I can't wait to be settled into our new home. Getting a rhythm to our lives again will be nice... routine always helps me get the alone time I need to develope new works. I am toying with the idea of opening myself up for submissions from people to write songs about their lives based on any info they give me. Have thought this would make for a great cd... life stories theme. Thoughts anyone?

Does she know...

2009-05-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

Grace is on the verge of becoming a highschooler... when I see her sometimes I see the toddler girl playing on the beach in Pt.Hueneme, and the 7 year old who would walk the dog without being told and go to bed with her American Girl doll. I remember the timid 7th grader at a new school, who knew no one, and still tried out for cheerleading. I see the 14 year old who has sleepovers because her friends want a "counseling"session with her to help the figure out thier latest drama.

I have spent so much time working, managing, struggling.... that I wonder if she knows how precious she is to me. How treasured the memories are of her. How much I want to see her live her life to the fullest, and hopefully with out the mistakes I made. Sometimes life is just moving at a breakneck pace that I feel like I am not getting the time to give her what she needs. I thank God for the changes coming. For my new husband and home... hopefully it will be a peaceful place where we can enjoy the years coming before she is an adult. Only four more...

Lists

2009-05-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am realizing to be disciplined in some areas I have lacked... I need to make a few different "lists" to get organized. I ABSOLUTELY despise lists. Why, I am not certain... but I am doing it. yuck.

Joyce Meyers this morning... love it

2009-05-04T04:32:00.000-07:00

"Get your mind off everything thats wrong with you,,, and get with God and He will change you...
Love yourself... love your life...consider yourself dead to sin... agree with God as to who you are... God sent His son... the least you can do is value yourself enough to take care of yourself.
God didnt say when you recieve Christ to have your mind removed... He said renewed!

This morning I watched Joyce on the tv... I have in the past done this as my devotion. She power packs tons of Word in 30 minutes. She touched on being healthy and happy this morning... body mind and spirit... GEEEEsh I love hearing the Word of God from this woman, she is so candid and such a voice. Speaks such freedom... even touched on getting spiritual burnout on needing everything to be "spiritual" then bouncing to staying away from it all... her new series is called Synergy:Health and Happiness. Highly recommend catching one of these teachings!

Discipline Dang It Discipline

2009-05-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

I thrive on the fact(in my mind) that I am a freakin creative genious....hahaha... yes I am laughing at myself. Ok so genious or not, I am creative inside my mind, have thousands of ideas, paintings pictures, songs, writings, movie ideas.... but rarely have expressed any of it. In the past few years I have been bound up, lazy, and irritated with myself. On occasion, I produce some glimmer of something new, something that expresses me or whats in me. So those of you who know me may be thinking that well you have been dealing with a hard marriage, divorce, single momdom, and a slew of other reasons not to have expressed much on the creative forefront. Stop it! Don't give me any excuses! I want to be disciplined! I want to start completing what I begin. I am about to begin a new chapter. A new start with my new husband, but also a new fervor for life and expression of it to the fullest. I don't want to have made excuses and find I have not accomplished even a fraction of my potential. I am realizing that to raise my kids to be ones who stay the course, completing the things they are to accomplish within them, I must be the example. Discipline... CRAP I need it. O to desire conviction to be motivated to keep daily disciplines. God help me.... really.

My Littlest One...

2008-10-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

I went on a field trip yesterday with Faith's class to Marmon Valley Farms. My little girl was so excited... not so much that she was getting to see how the pioneers lived, but that her Mommy was there meeting all her friends. She is growing so fast, I am trying to grab these moments to share with her in the midst of a busy life... my little lamb, as I call her. I so enjoyed our day.

Drama, drama, drama...

2008-09-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

Just sharing some of Drama Club on Thursdays... these kids are so alive, and learning how to improv and find character. LOVING THIS... The boys were behind the curtain, preparing an improv skit. fun....

I See Them...and a bit of me

2008-09-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

Perspective

2008-09-16T05:49:00.000-07:00

Perspective is a funny thing. Rooted in the attitudes we carry, it can be that which weighs us down or releases us into more freedom. The question is, where does our perspective come from? Is it established over time in our mere experiences? Is it chosen? We must ask ourselves where our perspective comes from... I believe it comes from the combination of our experiences, knowledge and wisdom we have aquired along the way that God has revealed to us, and choice.

Did I lose you at choice? Yes, I said choice... Ohh I forgot the part about attitude. Yes, choice of attitude. We can all be looking at the same situation and see it completely different. Ok so there are words for this kind of thing...lets label it, like everything else... Optimistic and pessimistic... or negative attitude and positive attitude.UGGH. I hate these labels... it suggests the inability to be more than one or the other. As if you are either an optimist, or a pessimist. That's rather ridiculous being that there are plenty of things I am very optimistic about and others that I struggle with being pessimistic on.... The very things that my perspective may seem right to me and wrong to another. I would like to think that I always draw from the Lord my perspective...but well lets face it I am human and that just doesn't always happen. I desire to have Godly perspective, and good attitudes. Renew my mind with the Word of God. " Create in me a clean heart, and renew in me a right spirit" Because the one I've got gets pessimistic, doubtful, angry, and skeptical.... did I say tired as well? Tired. So maybe perspective also is shaped by rest and/or weariness... hmmm. Maybe I better get refreshed a bit and rested up before I choose how I am going to respond to the next life situations rushing at me. Thank you Jesus for quiet mornings like this one....

Finding Forrester... finding me

2008-09-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

So yesterday as I recovered from the morning of crying...(the cycle of my ex-husband returned to apologizing for his behavior the last two weeks, and I had my meltdown after holding up under it), I sat in my living room with the mounds of clothes that I have been sifting and sorting, folding and tossing. As I put another dent in decluttering my home, I watched Finding Forrester. It is one of my all time favorite movies... Sean Connery. Love the man, his voice, his countenance... really I love the inspiration of the character he brought to life. He is in the winter of his life... the young man he ends up mentoring in writing ends up inspiring him to get out of the apartment he has been held up in for decades, and go really live for the last year before he dies. The legacy he leaves the young man is indescribable... it is beyond just words. It has depth and breadth. I cried at the end of that too.... I had let go of another dream to go to college, to maintain, to survive... to run a business, to mother 3 kids, to clean, to build friendships... ok... excuses? I don't know. All I know is I am hungry for much, yet with little time to focus in. I have to set some priorities... so theres truly a time of finding me.

The Clear Deep

2008-09-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

When I think about deep water, I have always thought of "dark" depths that are scary and something to be avoided. I have much in my spirit, my heart and my mind... I have left in the deep...things of my life in the past and things yet to be discovered. God is changing my perspective... my perception of the deep. It can be illuminated and clear. I am fasting this month, and asking the Lord to bring clarity and depth in me. I will swim near the shore or in the deep with freedom and clarity and new perspective.