Does she know...

Grace is on the verge of becoming a highschooler... when I see her sometimes I see the toddler girl playing on the beach in Pt.Hueneme, and the 7 year old who would walk the dog without being told and go to bed with her American Girl doll. I remember the timid 7th grader at a new school, who knew no one, and still tried out for cheerleading. I see the 14 year old who has sleepovers because her friends want a "counseling"session with her to help the figure out thier latest drama.

I have spent so much time working, managing, struggling.... that I wonder if she knows how precious she is to me. How treasured the memories are of her. How much I want to see her live her life to the fullest, and hopefully with out the mistakes I made. Sometimes life is just moving at a breakneck pace that I feel like I am not getting the time to give her what she needs. I thank God for the changes coming. For my new husband and home... hopefully it will be a peaceful place where we can enjoy the years coming before she is an adult. Only four more...

Lists

I am realizing to be disciplined in some areas I have lacked... I need to make a few different "lists" to get organized. I ABSOLUTELY despise lists. Why, I am not certain... but I am doing it. yuck.

Joyce Meyers this morning... love it

"Get your mind off everything thats wrong with you,,, and get with God and He will change you...
Love yourself... love your life...consider yourself dead to sin... agree with God as to who you are... God sent His son... the least you can do is value yourself enough to take care of yourself.
God didnt say when you recieve Christ to have your mind removed... He said renewed!

This morning I watched Joyce on the tv... I have in the past done this as my devotion. She power packs tons of Word in 30 minutes. She touched on being healthy and happy this morning... body mind and spirit... GEEEEsh I love hearing the Word of God from this woman, she is so candid and such a voice. Speaks such freedom... even touched on getting spiritual burnout on needing everything to be "spiritual" then bouncing to staying away from it all... her new series is called Synergy:Health and Happiness. Highly recommend catching one of these teachings!

Discipline Dang It Discipline

I thrive on the fact(in my mind) that I am a freakin creative genious....hahaha... yes I am laughing at myself. Ok so genious or not, I am creative inside my mind, have thousands of ideas, paintings pictures, songs, writings, movie ideas.... but rarely have expressed any of it. In the past few years I have been bound up, lazy, and irritated with myself. On occasion, I produce some glimmer of something new, something that expresses me or whats in me. So those of you who know me may be thinking that well you have been dealing with a hard marriage, divorce, single momdom, and a slew of other reasons not to have expressed much on the creative forefront. Stop it! Don't give me any excuses! I want to be disciplined! I want to start completing what I begin. I am about to begin a new chapter. A new start with my new husband, but also a new fervor for life and expression of it to the fullest. I don't want to have made excuses and find I have not accomplished even a fraction of my potential. I am realizing that to raise my kids to be ones who stay the course, completing the things they are to accomplish within them, I must be the example. Discipline... CRAP I need it. O to desire conviction to be motivated to keep daily disciplines. God help me.... really.